Blog

*1/20/2025

I'm heavily considering just quitting my job with no plan. It's a pretty easy job and pays better than anything else i could likely get without education/training, but my boss is honestly just an asshole and it's so fucking draining ;_;

I really want to get my CDL, and I'm trying to decide whether i should just pay for it out of pocket rn or apply for a scholarship that would be full ride but i wouldn't know if I actually got it until july which would suck (but also saving 4k def helps alleviate the suckage lol)

In other news, I'm going to Scumbob in a little over a week and I'm so fucking pumped!!! For clarity, Scumbob is a place I've been going to since i was born. It's a big area of wilderness that my dad's friend (who i would consider like an uncle) owns that has been built up by hand over the years. There's 2 cabins, a pavillion with a kitchen, a gravity-powered shower that sometimes works, and a whole bunch of other stuff (I could go on about it for days, but I'm tired). I didn't go in 2024 cause i was having a bit of a mental episode the week of Scumbash (annual get together with like 60 people). This month is just gonna be a handful of us, but I've somehow never gone in winter so it'll be a first for me and I just can't wait!!!!!!

*1/9/2025

I want to use this more. I love how unstructured it is and that it can be whatever and exactly what i want it to be. I just need to actually put in the time to turn it into that.

In a similar vein, I thought recently about how, for the first time in my life, I'm actually putting effort into making my room feel like more than just the place that has my bed and it's been really nice. I still have a long ways to go, but it's really coming together and it just makes me so happy to look around and see everything having a place where it goes and my walls covered in reminders of friends, family, and various other things that make me happy.

*11/22/2024

It's like 2 AM. I kept thinking about how my dad says the phrase "good little capitalist" all the time. Like, when I'm at my parent's house and say that i have to leave for work, he responds, "Be a good little capitalist!" in the same tone you'd tell a child, "Have a good day at school!" The desire to say this somewhere public was somehow enough motivation to work on my site enough to have a place to put it.